


Prowler Pilot Seeks Gainful Employment

by A_Damned_Scientist



Category: Farscape
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 22:30:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13257933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Damned_Scientist/pseuds/A_Damned_Scientist
Summary: Aeryn needs a job on Earth. John agrees, but they have wildly different ideas as to what would suit her.





	1. John's Letter

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all, this is a bit of a departure from my usual fics. It's something I wrote for Farscapeland on LiveJournal a few years ago and I just stumbled across. Hopefully it's all self explanatory.
> 
> No money made, no Johns hurt in the making of etc etc.

Dr John Crichton  
Dunroamin, 321 Longbean Avenue  
San Francisco  
To: Ms Wilhelmena Slater  
Fashion Impresario Extraordinaire

  
Dear Ms Slater,  
  
I am writing on behalf of my wife, Aeryn, with a view to her being included on the books of your modelling agency. I have enclosed a portfolio of recent photographs of her. As you can see, she would be suitable for a variety of modelling assignments including face (note her finely sculpted features, gorgeous piercing, grey eyes and naturally sullen expression), body (tall, long-limbed, in excellent physical condition) and of course, hair. Her hair is a particular favourite of mine, and I would love to see her feature in a campaign to advertise shampoo or other hair care products.  
  
Please do not be put off by the fact that I am writing on your behalf: English is not her first language and she often has difficulty expressing herself clearly or politely in the language. With this in mind, please would you address your reply to this application to me in the first instance. I can then work on bringing her round to the idea.  
  
Yours, ever Hopefully

  
  
Dr John Robert Crichton Jr


	2. Aeryn's Letter

Officer Aeryn Sun (Rtd)  
Dunroamin, 321 Longbean Avenue  
San Francisco

  
To Inspector Harry Callahan, SF PD  
  
Please find enclosed my application for the post of your partner in the Special Weapons And Tactics division, as recently advertised by you in the San Francisco Gazette.  
  
Whilst I have no background in your local police enforcement bodies, a perusal of my CV will quickly reveal to you that, having been raised as a Peacekeeper Officer, I have extensive skills and experiences relevant to this role, more so than most if not all of your internal candidates are likely to possess. I am familiar with a broad variety of weaponry, am an excellent shot and am able to acquit myself well in a physical fight. My cycles spent as a fugitive aboard Moya, and more recently my unavoidable associations with associates of Don Vorleone, have given me useful insights into the minds and thought processes of criminals, degenerates and 'simple, honest businessmen.'  
  
I have followed your career with some interest, having rented all the movies chronicling your exploits. We already have something in common, having had to deal with an evil mastermind called Scorpy. Furthermore, I am sure that you will approve that my devotion to rules and regulations is balanced by my ability to think and act outside the box and the strong personal code which shapes my every action. I am totally committed to the use of any means necessary to enforce the law and I look forward to working with you to bring justice, dispensed without fear, favour or hesitation, to our mean streets.  
  
Yours

 

  
Officer Aeryn Sun (Retd)  
  
P.S. If you call me at home about this application and a man replies, do not reveal to him what you are calling about. What he doesn’t know won't hurt him.


	3. Aeryn's Curriculum Vitae

**Curriculum Vitae, Aeryn Sun**  
  
 **Position Applied For:**  SWAT-partner to Inspector Harry Callahan, SF PD.  
  
 **Education and Skills:**  I spent 14 cycles in the Peacekeeper Officer Training corps. As a consequence I am expert at marksmanship, use of combat knives, use of blunt combat weapons, use of found objects as combat weapons and in unarmed combat. I am also proficient at sneering and behaving cold-bloodedly (please note, as a sebacean, I have the advantage of being genuinely cold-blooded). I am also an expert combat pilot, and I would be delighted at any opportunities to use this skill during the course of the job. Whilst none of my formal qualifications would be recognised by Earth authorities, it is worth mentioning that expectations in Peacekeeper training courses are extremely high and the examinations are exceedingly rigorous. Candidates who fail any course are rarely able to retake their exam owing to their subsequent poor health or death.  
  
 **Experience:**  I spent seven cycles as Peacekeeper commando and prowler pilot. Following my COs irrational and corrupt attempt at enforcing my early retirement, I was responsible for five cycles for the safety and security of the crew of Moya whilst we were travelling through the mostly lawless Uncharted Territories. During this time I had to deal with a variety of psychopaths, criminals, pirates and other undesirables, some of whom were members of Moya's crew. During this time I spent a six monen 'vacation' working as a professional assassin. This allowed me the opportunity to use my skills in a practical setting to eliminate a number of undesirable criminal elements, often at my own discretion, culminating in the successful 'retirement' of the Prime Hokathian. My cool head and ability to shoot straight under pressure was further demonstrated by my extra-judicial killing of the Scarran War  Minister, who, at the time, was holding a gun to my husband's head. Since coming to Earth I have been working within the home, but have run a weekly self defence class for my acquaintances from the Secret Service and I have also taken the opportunity to exercise my skills during the occasional hostile or unwanted press interview.


End file.
